This spicy-hot root does plenty for an efficiently-functioning digestive system, thanks to anti-inflammatory phytonutrients known as gingerols that work to alleviate a distressed tract. According to ayurvedic medicine tradition, ginger is a potent healer in all stages of the digestion process.

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box…

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. Homer no function beer well without. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. Please do not offer my god a peanut. Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Me fail English? That’s unpossible. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? I was saying “Boo-urns.”

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.