The Cyber House Rules

Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?